To make matters worse, it was attached to the window that was right behind the head of our beds. The light was about as bright as one you’d find in an office space: fluorescent and definitely not meant for a tiny, shared bedroom. This, in the worst way, was a sexual game-changer. After getting the work order completion email, I stepped into my room and flipped the light on to check it out. After having our bedroom only lit by a lamp my roommate brought with her, we finally had a bedroom light installed. In my sophomore year of college, I lived in a quaint apartment just a step outside of campus. In a sweet and very awkward way, I learned this early on. For instance, lighting has always made me feel more comfortable about my body. Here are just a few of my experiences for starters.įirst and foremost, it’s important to note the many benefits of exploring these additions. So, what exactly do I mean by ambiance? Ambiance can take form in many ways lighting, music, any other aspects that can add to the experience outside of your bodies and how we create that physical compatibility. It doesn’t have to be a production for arbitrary reasons or to make it “special,” but rather, implementing elements of ambiance has shown me that it can help ease my mind, allowing me to find peace in my mind and give myself wholeheartedly to the experience. Rather, it opened my eyes to a new perspective on the role of ambiance. Now, I’m not encouraging myself, or you, to drink every time you have sex-that can tread into dangerous territory. I get excited, but so excited, that I stray from enjoying myself and switch to focusing so hard on keeping it going, I play a role in losing it. I feel myself getting close and cling to it, hoping that it won’t dissipate. What seems to be my mental downfall, is my desire, which turns to stress, to climax. Thanks to my sex drive, once I get over that initial awkward undressing, I lose sight of my bodily insecurities. This of course, unfortunately intrudes during sex as well. My brain is constantly racing with an inner monologue, a mission to always be a few steps ahead, or simply because I can’t seem to ever stop talking, so sometimes I have to keep that conversation flowing in my head. Whether I want to admit it or not, I find myself unable to silence my mind in almost all situations in my life. So, this additional element of relaxation rather eased my mind and allowed me to enjoy myself thoughtlessly-something that transformed sex for me in a brand new way. Rather than giving me liquid courage, thanks to the comfortable situation I was in, I didn’t need anything to eliminate any insecurities thanks to the person I was with. I found myself in familiar hands with a little outside help to take the edge off (booze essentially). I came to realize this (pun intended) just recently when the elements appeared effortlessly. Maybe the corny montage of sheet grabbing by candle light isn’t that far off. Now that I’m moving into new avenues in my life, I’m starting to realize that maybe there’s a minuscule amount of truth behind the depictions of sex in film and television. Very easy, “good to go,” full of that youthful excitement.īut now that I’m encroaching on a new chapter in my life, the first peak into what I’d consider to be true adulthood, I find myself realizing many things that the “grown ups” were right about. My high school and college encounters were still basking in that aura of young and hot essentially, the notion of sex that Seth had in Superbad. Like most people my age, I’ve written off the notion of constructed ambiance when it comes to sex. Now that we’ve moved past the raging hormones that stood in place of foreplay and tonal setting, we should consider new elements of sex that can actually move beyond chilche and heighten our sexual experiences.
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